Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Sunrise

SunriseLake 
It is never too late to be what you might have been.
- George Eliot


This was the view I saw almost every day (well, when I was awake for it anyway, which was most work days) when I lived in the first apartment of my own. I loved being right next to the lake, and now I can experience this all over again, except this time, it’s with my family.

After a long and frustrating search, we finally found the perfect place for us to grow into. With my mom and new baby joining us in the near future, the five of us (plus our three pets) will nestle in comfortably and still have room enough to not kill each other – that’s key, I think. In case you read my last post and are wondering, yes, we would still be close to our favorite takeout places and grocery stores as we added a mere five minutes to the journey. So truly, we have lucked out.

And the bonus? The one thing that wasn’t included in our laundry list of criteria? Lakeside living. Lake Michigan nonetheless with its beaches, waves and all. I’m not a beach girl, mind you – no sunbathing and frolicking in the water for me, thank you – but I do love the calming effect of the water, and the vast, expansive sky looming above the horizon in colors that often steal the words and breath from my mouth.

This new place is perfect for us in many ways. The past few months have been really hard on us, and I don’t mean just the holiday and pregnancy stress. There were life decisions and turmoil My Guy and I had to endure that sometimes drove us apart, but eventually, and thankfully, that also brought us together – closer than ever. But to get here, we had to really dig deep into our souls to find that which threw us into the maelstrom that left us both battered in the process.

That was the time I also realized that the past really had its enormous pincers on me, all the way from my childhood. As Regina Brett says in her Life Lessons that changed our lives when I stumbled upon it a month ago, “Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up your present.” I knew that if I didn’t deal with the issues that have plagued me my entire life, I would always be fighting my demons. And the people around me.

35 years later, I can finally say I won. The shadow continues to lurk behind me, but I know I’m strong enough now to never succumb to its darkness again. This process changed me. Who would have thought that I could still do that at this age? But I did. And because of that, I am a believer that we are never too old to change. And so here I am in my new-old skin and really enjoying the way it fits me. This is the new me. The better me. And consequently, here we are, a better us. Suddenly, I feel like evangelizing the power of change. That anyone, at anytime, can make it happen as long as you’re dedicated. I am proof of that.

My Guy too struggled with the shadows from his past so we can both be here together. In the light. Now, more than ever before, if feels right. So, so right. This new home will essentially be a new chapter for us. How perfect and poetic to be right on the lake, to be given the chance again to watch the sun rise with the day, to remind us every day of new beginnings. New hope. New life.

Together.

 

* * *

Do you believe in second chances? Do you believe that people can truly change? Do you believe in happily ever after? What else do you believe in that you think everyone should too?

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