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If we were having coffee today…
I’d be a little breathless from my hectic week as I breathe a sigh of relief and plop myself across from you at our favorite neighborhood coffeehouse with a mug of hot caramel latte in my hands (because Pumpkin Spice is so last month). With my dog’s eye surgery last week, from which she’s slowly recovering, we have a post-op appointment this week, and canceled Thanksgiving plans where we were supposed to travel eight hours to join my best friend for the holiday. Instead we decided to prepare a feast for just the three of us in our home. No fuss, no stress. A 13lb turkey is sitting in our fridge as we speak, and you’d see my eyes light up as I describe how delightful it would be for me to spend the day in the kitchen this Thursday.
Between the grocery shopping, menu planning, the dog’s vet appointment and of course working full time, I would also add that I have to get to a doctor’s appointment myself; at your quizzical expression, I would then hand over this little sheet to you with a sheepish grin.
I’m sure I would then be pelted with the requisite questions, which I would cheerfully answer: No, it’s not a prank. Yes, I’m pregnant. I’m 13 weeks along (although this ultrasound was taken around 7 weeks, so the little speck you see here has probably grown a few times its size). The baby’s due late May and yes, we will find out the baby’s gender this time, unlike the last. It was an agreement between My Guy and me – I get the first surprise baby, and he gets to find out with the next.
I would confess that the first-trimester fatigue has been kicking my ass, followed by an apology for not being as available as I used to be. With a toddler around this time, rest and recovery have been scarce, and I’ve not been feeling up to anything. Blogging has become a chore for awhile, so I changed my schedule from posting thrice to twice weekly. Then I couldn’t even keep up with that! And finally I just had to let it go and be kinder, gentler with myself. Now I post when I can, and believe me, that is just as hard for someone like me, who thrives on routine and predictability.
What I need most every day these days is sleep, and I’ve given myself permission to slack off. It’s nice really, to be rid of guilt because what I’m doing is actually for my baby’s health. For our health.
As far as the pregnancy goes, it’s been pretty smooth sailing. There are food aversions that annoy the food lover in me - one day I’m craving blackened salmon, the next day I can’t even look at it. But I’ve been fortunate that I can at least keep my food down with no real “morning sickness” to speak of, just waves of nausea that hit me at the most inopportune moments (naturally) but as long as I keep snacking, I’ll feel fine (only I don’t always know when to stop, which could be a problem).
Now that the cat is out of the bag, it’s so much easier to converse with friends and to write when I can express what’s often foremost on my mind. Our family has much to plan for our future, but until I have a better idea myself, we’ll just leave it at that for now.
As I absentmindedly swirl the last of the latte in my mug, the topic moves on to Little Miss, and I’d apologize for not having any pictures of her birthday party to share with you. Again, I blame my pregnancy blahs but I assure you I’ll have them soon. We told her about the “baby in mommy’s belly” just recently (because we were worried Little Miss Blabbermouth here, whose current skills include word-for-word parroting, would unwittingly spread the news when we weren’t ready), so when you ask her now what’s in mommy’s belly, she’d say “baby”. And if you asked what baby she would like, she’d gleefully respond, “baby girl!”. Yes, she has already put in her request. I doubt she comprehends these conversations, but I’ve seen how gentle she is with little babies and how excited she is by them, and I’m hopeful. The way she nurtures her baby dolls (feeding, diaper changing, bathing) is perhaps a good sign that she just may handle her role as Big Sister well. Perhaps.
This is the point where I’d prod you about your life, your family, your Thanksgiving plans. You regale me with your own stories as I sit back and bask in the light of our friendship. It’s wonderful to be able to share these details with each other like that. However, this week is not one that affords me a languorous date at the coffeehouse - there are doctors to visit, out-of-town friends to meet for dinner one evening, last-minute shopping to do and a Thanksgiving meal to prepare. Reluctantly, we bid adieu with a lingering hug and part with a smile on our face and a promise for a coffee date after the holidays, when the frenzy evaporates.
We don’t do this often, but when we do, it nourishes my soul. I can’t wait to do this with you again.
Meanwhile, Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, my friend. May your life be as full of love and joy as the bounty on your table that day.