Friday, October 29, 2010

Wow! Has it really been a year?

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I blinked and here I am. A year later…

October 30 marks the first anniversary of this blog. It almost escaped me, as I scramble around trying to prepare for a small road trip for the Halloween weekend, my daughter’s birthday and her new school. We’re also giving her bedroom a minor update (as in dumping all the toys around the house back into her room). With all that’s on my plate, I’ve not had the time to think about this post, but I know there are some things that I have to say, so here goes.

When I first started writing, it was around the time that Little Miss was finally sleeping well. My evenings became mine again, and with all that free time and the lack of ambition to scrapbook, I decided to chronicle her growth here in this space. But little did I know, I was also capturing my own growth here, as a mother, a woman and a person.

Secretly (and now not so secretly) I had this irrational fear that I may not be around for her someday, and I was worried that she wouldn’t know me. For some reason, I desperately wanted her to, beyond the superficialities of skin color and hobbies. This was also the space for me to capture stories about her so that she will always have them. Each remembered with clarity, not in a haze thirty years down the road with an exaggeration here, an untruth there. Every honest word, every crystal clear memory is my gift to her.

But what I also didn’t realize was what a gift this space has been to me. Writing is my creative outlet, but it’s also therapeutic. The power of the truth, when uttered, can rock your core. And it did mine as I found myself uncovering emotions that were once internalized. The more open and honest I became with myself, the more I realized I wasn’t alone. And it’s a wonderful feeling, not just from the shared experience but the camaraderie – my favorite gift of all.

The friendships I’ve made and the ones I’ve rekindled this past year through this blog have made this experience more incredible than I could ever have imagined. I am both humbled and inspired by the myriad authentic voices that are out there, and I’m often reminded of just how vast and, at once, small this world is. As well as fascinating. And painful. And joyous. And sometimes, just breathtaking. Thank you for opening your world to me, so that I can truly see our world.

And most of all, thank you for your support in my journey, whether you’ve been with me this year, this month or this day - I will always be grateful and honored that you are with me here, where I have landed.

 

p.s. Happy Halloween my friends!

 

Birthday Cake image by Theresa Thompson.

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