Friday, April 2, 2010

I'm it

Kerry tagged me to share 10 things about me that you may not know. What a fun exercise, although I have to admit it's taken me a bit to think about them. Anyway, this is the best I could come up with. I'm sure after I post this, I'd think of better things.

1. I am afraid of yeast. Not the infection, although that warrants some fear, but the dough inflating kind. As much as I love cooking, when too much of the success of a recipe depends on an ingredient that seems to set its own course I get turned off by it because of how little control I have in the process. Maybe I have Type A issues, but until I get over it, homemade bread and pizza are sadly just not in the cards for us.  

2. I am usually a lot funnier (in my head). Initially, this blog was meant to be lighthearted and anecdotal, as I wanted to share crazy stories about this kid who makes me laugh every day, but as it turns out, most of these are "you just had to be there" moments. A silly face here, an infectious giggle there - not exactly blog material. And so I had to dig deeper and realize that apart from being deliriously happy in my new role as mom, I was also often times insecure, frustrated, unsure and exhausted. And those aren't always funny. So here we are. Sometimes we laugh. Sometimes we don't. C'est la vie.

3. I am a worrier. You're thinking, you're a mom, of course you worry. But I was that way pre-baby. If My Guy is out on the town with his friends and I don't hear from him, I fear the worst. If we have guests, I fret about the menu for weeks - too much? not enough? vegetarians? allergies? religious views? too ethnic? too spicy? kid-friendly? thigh-friendly? - and end up with 10 dishes for five people, just in case, and leftovers enough to feed a tiny village. And while this blog has been cathartic for me for the most part, it's also one of my biggest sources of worry. Will I offend anyone? Did I say too much? Is this the right word? Does this sentence sound right? Do I sound like a bumbling idiot? As you read this, I'm probably still wondering about the construction of this sentence, and would have rewritten this six seven times.

4. I don't want to run a marathon. Ever. I'm not a runner, and I don't have the discipline or the high threshold for pain needed to train for this event. It takes me about five days to do laundry (first day to wash and dry, second to contemplate folding, third to actually fold and place them in a neat pile, fourth to forget all about it and the last day to put them away when I finally run out of underwear). Now, does that sound like someone who can complete a marathon?

5. When I was in college, I changed my major from Psychology to English because the English building was right next to my dorm and Psych was across the campus (ten-minute walk!), and that meant I could sleep in a little longer for my 8am classes. True story. This little factoid probably confirms Number 4. No one this lazy can or will run a marathon. Duh.

6. I am loony for Buffy. The Vampire Slayer (TV series). Hot chick who kicks ass with pithy dialogue and deadly roundhouse kicks to save the world from sexy, pale-faced, photo-sensitive creatures clad in black leather. Come on, what's not to love?

7. I don't have many friends. By choice. I don't have the patience for drama - which seems to increase proportionately with the number of friends you have - and I don't have the time for acquaintances. If I wanted superfluous conversations about the weather or what Sandra Bullock wore to the Oscars, I have the local cafe barista for that. The friends I do have, I may not see or converse with every day, but when we do talk, it's all heart, mind, and soul. And what Sandra Bullock wore to the Oscars, of course. With only a handful of them, versatility is key.

8. I'm not always honest. This blog isn't fictitious but I do refrain from divulging too much because even after all these years away and all these miles apart, I still care about what my mother thinks of me, and because of her, I care about what the (somewhat more traditional) society and family that I left behind would say. Even now, I still want to be the good daughter, craving my mom's approval. Is it an Asian thing or a daughter thing, I wonder.

9. I own a sewing machine. But I don't sew. Or knit. Or crochet. Or craft. Other than making the occasional card, I did complete a scrapbook once when I was newly in love, and it was to capture the first year of my relationship with My Guy (gag, I know). It was more a testament to the ridiculous lengths I would go to when in love than my creativity because the scrapbook was more like crapbook. I would love to craft with my daughter and create beautiful things with her someday, but if I were her, I wouldn't hold my breath.

10. I am a hopeless romantic. Nicholas Sparks and Sweetest Day - so not my style; It isn't about the sweeping gestures and the grand emotions. It's the details in the everyday things. A shared passion, a stolen moment, a deep longing. It's the kiss you plant on the forehead even when the other person is sound asleep. It's taking the time to celebrate the first 70-degree night of the year with a three-hour conversation about the past, present and future over a bottle of cheap wine on a candlelit porch. It's reading aloud to you when you're too tired or too pregnant to do it yourself. Actions that linger when the moment has long since passed, that's the stuff.

(A toast to a gloriously warm night in March)

Now it is my turn to tag. Since I'm new to the blogosphere, my choices are but a few. I hope my tag-ees will indulge me all the same. These are the people I stalk every day because I love what they have to say and how they say it. Kristen, Stacia (I hope you're feeling better) and Rachel: Tag. You're it.
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